What about the doorstops?

1980 D&AD silver
1981 D&AD silver
1982-84 Three One Show nominations
1983 Capital Radio best commercial award
1987 D&AD silver award nomination
1987 Readers Digest Pegasus awards - two
1988 Cannes silver Lion
1989 British Television awards - gold
1989 British Television awards - silver
1989 Campaign Advertising awards - silver
1991 Campaign Poster awards - gold
1991 Campaign Poster awards - two silver
1992 D&AD silver award nomination
1996 Caxton Awards - four
1996 Melbourne Art Directors Club - silver
2002 US Summit Creative Awards Press ~ bronze.
2005 Winner of the Premier of Victoria's Literary Award for Best Unpublished Manuscript.
2009 US Summit Awards, Winner of Inaugural Green Marketing Category
It's good to celebrate success with some awards. Fact is, it's good to celebrate for absolutely any reason at all.

There was a colleague, Jane, at one agency Christmas fancy dress party I went to, who chose to go as a Christmas tree - all lights, tinsel and baubles.

She really celebrated; in fact she was absolutely paralytic, almost speechless with booze. Finally, it was time for the party trick she'd been planning all evening, the moment which would win her the best costume award.

She plugged herself into a wall socket so that all the lights on her tree flashed on and off. Moments later clouds of smoke started billowing out from beneath her dress and her lights fused. Everyone was killing themselves laughing, while Jane just stood there grinning madly, slurring her words and drinking straight from a champagne bottle. A more charitable soul stepped forward and unplugged her just before she electrocuted herself.

Although it was a great performance, she didn't win the big prize - which was sad. But it's the perfect segue (as they like to say in this business) to those occasions on which my name has been up in lights

Winning copywriting awards is easy. Just remember a few simple rules:
Avoid clichés like the plague, yes, but also sentences that start with, That’s why … At this point in time … Proudly brought to you by … and, At the end of the day …
Also words like, value added deliverables, utilise, monetize and prioritise, closure, deconflicted, leveraged resources, empowering, outcomes and outputs.

They are no more than jargon and cant and quickly lead us into such nonsensical areas as those attempts at the language from non-English speaking countries, like: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. Or: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.